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Possessing the right to be upset with somebody is no less than a privilege in a world where the most likely answer to smash your face would be, “Fine, if you don’t want to talk, it’s up-to you!”
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-Guest Blogger Shreya Mehta (The Agony Aunt)
Ha, haven’t we all been at one side or the other for this statement a lot more often than not? It’s like you can be and let the other one be, you can be happy and let the other one still be; but if you’re upset with something in your relationship and you want to discuss it with the intent of resolving the matter, you are just going to be all the more disappointed. Cuz the-saamne-wali-party is no more interested in “discussing” or making things work.
Its an urban world, where the urban cupid is easily accessible on smartphones, social media, pubs and parties, and…umm….I just realized the urban cupid is omnipresent, anyway! And then, when one has so many options available, why should they ‘waste’ any time trying to deal with things or work them out or find a solution.
So the next time you have a heated argument with your partner about, “tumne uski DP kyun like kari? / WhatsApp pe online the phir bhi reply kyun nahi kiya” etc. etc., just keep in mind the following ladaai-hacks which will help you prevent, tackle and sort out all issues with you partner.
1. Don’t threaten with the breakup-ki-dhamki
However tempting it may sound to say, “I don’t think it’s working it, let’s just break up”, please do not utter these words unless you really mean to break up. I mean, how mature would you be, if you cannot handle a dirty argument and think it should be the end of a relationship? So please, don’t diminish the beautiful bond.
2. Don’t take digs at each other
You are mad at your partner, understandable! You want to shout, and throw tantrums, and cry or even do the taandav dance to show you are pissed, umm…still understandable. But all this doesn’t validate taking any disses or passing any mean comments just to have a upper hand in the argument. That is cheap, disrespecting and unclassy. No chill.
3. Don’t deviate, puraani baatein not allowed
I know, that’s a female specific, and almost an established rule of any conversation where a female is involved. But it’s too passe, girls! Okay consider it this way, why prove men that we remember every fucking detail about them even if it was too unpleasant for us? Why not rather pretend to not remember everything and ask them to remind you. Yep, reverse psychology is the key. Men get freaked out when we remember everything. But they simply can’t deal with the fact that we have missed out on or simply forgotten something. Poor creatures, spare them this one time na.
4. Agree to each other wherever fair
Just because you’re representing different flags during the argument doesn’t mean that you won’t agree to each other even where it would be fair. Show some sportsman spirit people, fight with dignity. This one goes a long way in winning you respect and admiration.
5. Apology may not be important, pampering?
Well, always!: You fought – now you are not taking – you are wondering if they are missing you too – you want to call/text, but : “I won’t apologize, it wasn’t even my fault…if he/she cant, then why should I” – This is just so common to all of us! Okay then you may or may not apologize, but at least talk and tell them you have been missing them. It makes up for the apology-drill.
6. The post-ladaai intimacy
Whoa! Ever tried this? Works the best right? Making out to make up is probably one of the best situations ever and I am sure you agree with this. So, when you need to end the awkwardness post-argument, just use the heat of the argument into something else, and this won’t be regretted.
7. The golden rule: Do not drag any fight to the next day
Talk to your partner and establish this in the preamble or whatever you have for your relationship, never-ever-ever drag last night’s argument to the next morning. Yes, it can be weird to behave as if it never happened. But the idea is to acknowledge what happened and yet not identify it as an upheaval in your love story. Raat gayi, baat gayi!
And lastly, please remember, fights are inevitable in every relationship. Be it with your parents-siblings-or partner. But they don’t have to indicate the onset of doomsday! Instead, understand why the other one is upset and think how you can make it rather special by making up to them, cuz Pyar Mein Kabhi Kabhi, Aisa Bhi Hota Hai..!
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