Dear I don’t know what you are to me anymore I guess ex will have to do,
This is my letter to you, the boy who wrecked havoc and shattered my heart, my soul, my emotional stability. I don’t seem to recognize myself when I look at my reflection; all I can see is a broken and tattered girl with haunted bottomless eyes devoid of any life. I don’t think I have been myself for a long long time, even before we parted to start our lives separately. I am just a shell of what I used to be before things derailed and I’m tired of it, so I finally picked up what little I could of myself and decided to remedy this situation, so here I am writing this letter to gain some semblance of closure.
I’m not really sure if I’m quite ready to put this into words yet but it has been a month and its time that I buckle up and face reality no matter how much it scares me. This is very hard for me to confess but I knew, I knew that you were cheating on me months before I walked in on you. I just couldn’t accept it, because to accept would have meant to destroy my world as it was. It meant that everything was a lie. From the moment you waltzed into my life I knew it wouldn’t end well, your charming smiles and beguiling personality stole by breathe away and slowly my heart, you weren’t merely a person you became this creature that I was enraptured with that soon seemed to control my universe, I wouldn’t dare to accuse you of a crime in this matter, it was me who was at fault here, because I naively handed this power over me to you believing that you were just as enamored with me as I was with you.
The really sad part is that I still love you, even after all the unforgiving things you did. I still blame you for being my ruination, for not facing me bravely and instead choosing the coward’s way out but I also forgive you. You were my first everything and above all my first true love, maybe the greatest there ever will be but I guess some things just aren’t meant to be, star-crossed lover I believe that is the phrase. And as pathetic as it is, a part of me will always love you but I believe it takes a lot of courage to show people your weakness. If I were given a chance to do things over I would do it all again in a heartbeat, the only thing I wish to change and regret is not walking away with my dignity still intact while I could.
For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me or that I did something wrong but now I know that while I may not have been the perfect wife I did my best at keeping you, happy. I want to thank you for all that you have done for me so far and as much as I digress to admit this you helped me become who I am today, for better or for worse only time would tell. I wish you good luck and I hope that life will bring you all the happiness that I wasn’t able to give.
The girl who has been cheated on several times but still can’t stop loving you.
PS- To the girl, who took my place and replaced me, please take good care of him and thank you for setting me free from this shackled doomed relationship.
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