From The Bride's Heart - I Had Second Thoughts About Getting Married 5 Days Before My Wedding

Have you ever seen movies with those scenes where a person is standing still on the street while the rest of the world is fast-forwarding at a high pace?

Author: alice | Updated: February 18, 2017 7:39 IST
 

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- Harini SV

Have you ever seen movies with those scenes where a person is standing still on the street while the rest of the world is fast-forwarding at a high pace?That’s exactly how I feel right now, as if I’m stuck in a limbo. All my family and friends are flitting around, buzzing with energy, preparing for the big day. My wedding is in five days yet somehow I just cannot bring myself to care, to get excited. Isn’t your wedding day supposed to be one of the best days of your life? But all I’m feeling is a strange cold numbness slowly spreading across my body soothing away the sadness with its icy touch. I’m having second thoughts about getting married just days before the wedding. I know it’s common to have cold feet,

Isn’t your wedding day supposed to be one of the best days of your life? But all I’m feeling is a strange cold numbness slowly spreading across my body soothing away the sadness with its icy touch. I’m having second thoughts about getting married just days before the wedding. I know it’s common to have cold feet, it's part of being human, instant defense mechanism I guess, simply too scared to take a step into the uncertain future. But that is not what I’m feeling, not completely at least, it is a part of it after all marriage is a big change, a new beginning, a new trail of life but this time I get a partner to accompany me, to leave my parents house, all quite frankly frightening things and would have been the main problem on my mind if it weren’t for the wretched phone call. The call, where he confessed that he had cheated on his old girlfriend, albeit he was quite young at that time but still cheating is something that I absolutely abhorred and find it repulsive. Worry sets in that he might do it to me too. But he was young and stupid, we have all done things that we aren’t proud of when we were in college, so what right do I have to judge him according to that. But being an overthinker I start rethinking and dissecting my entire relationship with him, but I refuse to do that, it is unfair and a great injustice to not only him but also me. The past should stay in the past. And that struck me, it should! Everyone deserves a second chance and his mistake was one made long back and it wasn’t as if it was a habit, it had happened only once. He is love of my life and our parents approve, that is a blessing in itself not everyone gets that chance and we deserve the happiness. I do not know if my decision is a good one or a mistake but I am doing what seems the best right now. Fingers crossed let’s see what the future holds in store for me, hopefully the good will outweigh the bad. 

But he was young and stupid, we have all done things that we aren’t proud of when we were in college, so what right do I have to judge him according to that. But being an overthinker I start rethinking and dissecting my entire relationship with him, but I refuse to do that, it is unfair and a great injustice to not only him but also me. The past should stay in the past. And that struck me, it should! Everyone deserves a second chance and his mistake was one made long back and it wasn’t as if it was a habit, it had happened only once. He is the love of my life and our parents approve, that is a blessing in itself not everyone gets that chance and we deserve the happiness. I do not know if my decision is a good one or a mistake but I am doing what seems the best right now. Fingers crossed let’s see what the future holds in store for me, hopefully, the good will outweigh the bad. 

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Posted on: February 18, 2017 real wedding stories, indian couple love stories,

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